Public Vs. Private Schools.

The home my parents chose off course was surrounded by farms. Not just farms , but corn farms. My parents weren't farmers, off course. No . They weren't the next Bill Clinton either or my mom who'm been a Democrat since World War 2. Which my grandmother never talked about. But my mother was the type who'm when I was in my younger years still growing up would always tend to be the younger self. I miss that about her.

I miss the younger, happier days. I feel like that is gone. I remember my mother always being the most happiest ,  happy go lucky woman. The happily just married type. But every day.

People always would tell me, " Don't rush growing up. You'll regret it later. " They might have been right on that.  It's not the same when you're a kid and an adult. Growing up is always the most interesting part of experience of remembering the child hood days.

When growing up, I'd always remembered wanting to carry money. Always wanting to be , " RICH " . Or in Russian " Богатые" . I always wanted to have or drive a car. Be a grown up.

Well. Now I do. And I don't.

My family always tended to have , problems. Behavioral problems. Especially my twin sister who'm looked and talked like me. But never would settle down or settle for less. Always looked like she just got in to trouble.

                                               "Public Vs. Private Schools. " 

School for me was some times a problem. I would never be the top of my class . But, I would always get along in my class. I was the bottom of my class. My teachers couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. They never knew the problems I face now every day with educational behavioral issues. Or they would have never discover the fact that I have ADHD , and other problems. Which were the least of my worries.

When I was growing up,  I dreamed of being a middle preschooler. At the same time, I dreamed of being a freshman high school girl. I wrote once in my diary a phrase that I repeat till this day. I always imagined what it would feel like to be in a high school. What type of classes I'd have. How many friends I'd have. What I would learn. Couldn't imagine that I'd still be taking ESL classes. Because teachers thought it was a language barrier. Not an ADHD problem.

I hated doing laundry. I always wanted to wear my uniform. But when I went to public school. It was nothing like in my other country where I wore uniform's every day. We had to sit in  certain way. Raise our hands in another and approach the teacher with respect. If we answered the wrong way, we'd get a point deducted and sent to the principals office.

Even if my uniform was dirty or mot neatly pressed or cleaned. I remember the school would have strict policies even if I hung out with boys around the corner from my class. It wasn't always easy for me. For that , I always tended to get in trouble. With having ADHD now, as an adult, and not knowing before, my hands would always be stained with ink stains from pen's I used to hold when writing. In another language.

I remember chasing this boy who'm I had a crush on in during my younger years back in my country before I moved to United States. He was young. Off course. ( with a giggle ) trying not to  think about how it could have turned out differently if I wouldn't have to move to a different country where people spoke differently. Acted differently. Had different way of speaking.

Different rules and ways of going to school. Even having to dress differently to school. Every day without wearing a uniform. Now that's a public school for those who couldn't afford private Catholic school.